Size Matters (and related advice)

I realize that you can read the title of this post two different ways. one being, "size matters," and the other being, "size-matters". But i guess if i meant this the second way, I would have typed it that way.

That had nothing to do about the post that is to follow.

IN the world today, everything comes in sizes, and we often hear the term, or response, "size matters." But, does it really? Does size really matter, and who is to decide if it does. Well, I must tell you that I am in a position to discuss the matters of size for one reason that, in my opinion, makes what i have to say very important for you to hear. the reason? I am a barista.

Now, I have discussed the matters of size with various different people that i interact with on a day to day basis, and we have all come to the conclusion that yes, size does in fact matter.

"What are you referring to?" You may ask. Well, I am referring to your drink of choice when you enter some of the finer coffee establishments in America. Or, if you happen to enter a starbucks.

To tell the truth, the post cannot, and will no be only about size. I am going to include some other things that you need to know in order to not make a barista frustrated with you, so that you can confidently enjoy your cup of coffee, or coffee based beverage, knowing that it was lovingly made.

1. Size: Know the size of the drink you want before you rattle off all of the modifications that you want to it. We cannot make your iced, decaf, 3 pump sugar-free-hazelnut latte, with 2 raw sugars thrown in without first knowing the size of the drink we are making. And almost nothing is more frustrating then hearing your entire drink order, asking you what size and having you make a confused face, in essence saying, "size? what do you mean? Can you not put my drink into any size?" Well, yes we can, but you should probably tell us so that we could properly ring you up.
2. If you go into a non-starbucks coffee shop, you do not need to refer to starbucks as our "competition," or "the other place," or "the s-one." We are not going to get angry that you go in there on occasion. Heck, as I type this I am sitting outside of a starbucks (and I work at caribou). Nobody will fire me for doing this. Its just another place to go. When I take the back roads to get to places, or when I avoid the highway, I don't roll down my window and apologize to the asphalt for sometimes taking the quicker route. I just don't, that would be weird.
3. When you are paying for your beverage, do not, i repeat, do NOT just put your money on the counter, when we are clearly there waiting for it. Now, I understand if we walk off to make your drink, and you want to just set it down since you don't need any change. But, if i tell you your total, then stand there as you dig through your wallet to pull our some wadded $1 bills, do NOT throw them on the counter. Want me to throw your change down on the counter? Because one day I will.
4. Do not, when your total comes out to $4.04, look in my tip jar for 4 pennies, instead of breaking another dollar. Yes, this has happened to me, and i looked at the lady with a, "you want me to hit you?" look on my face. So she pulled out another dollar.
5. Do not order something with non-fat milk, but still ask for extra whip cream. it's pointless. Simple as that.
6. Don't apologize for standing aside and looking at the menu before you order. Its ok. I'm a typically patient person. I'm not going to get mad because its your first, second, or thirtieth time there and you can't decide what you want. I do the same thing when I am at work and want to have a little sippy-sip behind the counter. We have choices. It's what makes america so great (just kidding about that last part. But why not throw in a little american pride in a blog post on occasion. It will get more people to read what you have to say).


That's all I have right now. I am going to grab a drink, and head back to class. Because not only am I a barista, I am a student. And that, my friends, is sometimes cool?